You can call me stella and I am 21 going on 22. I speak English and Spanish. I have been living with anorexia, bulimia and depression for a little over 8 years now. I basically reblog whatever's in my fucked up mind. This blogs sole purpose is to get things off my mind that I keep bottled up, this blog is me. Follow me, talk to me.
(I track the tag; thinxforever)
Every night before I go to sleep I lie on my bed and stare up at my blank walls. I try to imagine the future, but right now it’s as blank as those walls. All I can see is a past that I barely recognize any more.
I know it seems like I’m this strong person who can get though anything, but inside I’m fragile. I’ve had so many things thrown at me, and each one has only made a crack. What I’m afraid of is shattering.
Cutting is a stepping stone for me. All my life I have been put through so much emotional pain and I’ve let myself just sit and drown in it. I cant physically or emotionally do it anymore. So I cut. It temporarily takes my pain away until I am able to remove myself from all feeling. I am detached from everything right now… I am numb.
I haven’t cut since September, I feel like I need to tho…
Sometimes I feel like no one cares. Sometimes I feel like no one is there. Sometimes I want to kill myself. Sometimes I think I need some help. Sometimes I feel like I’m alone. Sometimes I’m in an empty zone. Sometimes I feel like I’m not alive. Sometimes I wonder if I’m deprived. Sometimes I think the world should end. Sometimes I think I have no friends. Sometimes I want to make them see that sometimes I wish I wasn’t me…